So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I party with great urgency now.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
