Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
