Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Randomize
