Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
You can't just leave with hair like that
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
