I'm jealous of your bromance
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
