You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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