Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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