every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
