I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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