everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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