this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Randomize
