Non-Jews are for practice
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
