dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
