she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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