My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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