Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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