this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
