I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
