battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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