don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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