Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
