At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
operation have a gay friend backfired
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
