Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Can't talk, ducks in the car
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
