Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
