bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
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