well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
