I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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