Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize
