he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
she looked like the before picture.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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