exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
