i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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