i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
they're like a gay fantastic four
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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