I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
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