it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
