Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
