My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Randomize
