I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
