so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
