If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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