You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
