dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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