I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
