Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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