so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
