there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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