There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize
