why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
