Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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