Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
