I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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