That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
