Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
